I wish it came more naturally, more comfortably. I do pray, as do all those who long to follow Jesus. I do talk to God, as do all who long to enjoy life with him. I just don’t think I do it very well. My praying doesn’t often flow out of my soul well.

I struggle with what to say, how to say it; I wonder if God is listening and, if so, why he indulges me by listening to what often degenerates into griping about how he manages the world (and, in particular, how he is managing my life). So, like couples who are struggling to connect emotionally, I try and think a bit more about my “communication”–and with God that means thinking about prayer.

After all, prayer is communication; I am speaking to (and, hopefully, with) God. He invites it; it isn’t our idea. He welcomes it; even when I do it poorly. But, still, I would like to grow as a pray-er. And, so, I try and think more about my praying. And that thinking took me back to what must be the first example of prayer in the Bible.

Adam talked to God. In Genesis 3:10, we have the first recorded words of a person addressed to God–the first prayer. And in that single verse, I see some hints about prayer.

Adam admits that he had heard God; he says he had heard God’s voice. That simple observation reminds me. Prayer is not my initiating communication with God as much as it is my responding to his voice, reacting to his actions, reacting to his overtures. I pray, I talk with God, because he has invaded my world and chosen to open up communication with me.

Adam then goes on to tell God that seeing himself the way he did he was afraid. That may not seem like much, but it is part of Adam’s prayer. He confesses, as it were, that there is something amiss in himself and admits that what he knows about himself causes him to be afraid of God. There I see something else about prayer. Talking to God could well be self-revealing. That is, I may end up not only seeing God more clearly in and through my praying, but I may well end up seeing myself more clearly as I enter into dialogue with God. And, I just might not like what I see. Adam didn’t; and that led him to feel afraid.

And so, Adam announces that in that fear he intended to hide from God. Adam doesn’t like what he sees in himself, Adam has certain ideas about how God must think about the things Adam doesn’t like about himself, and so Adam decides to distance himself from God. And his praying moves in the direction of identifying and affirming the distance he feels from God. That really isn’t what God wanted, in initiating this exchange with Adam, but it is what Adam opted for.

Three simple components to Adam’s early endeavor at praying. He responded to God’s initiative, he admitted what he saw in himself and what he felt about God, and then he gave voice to his desire to hide from God, put distance between himself and God. His praying seemed to both open the way for him to be closer to God while still giving voice to his intention of being distant from God.

And I tasted a bit of that this morning, driving to my first appointment of the day. I felt the tug of God on my soul; he initiated some conversation, breaking into my life, speaking to my heart. Sensing that, I was immediately aware that all was not entirely right within me; I was feeling a bit unsettled about life, about the day that lay ahead of me, about how I had spent my time yesterday. I felt a little afraid about God opening up conversation with me. So, I turned on the radio; I hid. In word and in action I told the Lord, “Let’s talk later. I’m a bit . . . distracted right now.”

But it didn’t have to be that way. God took the initiative to “start talking.” He wasn’t surprised by what I would see or feel in my own soul. He was interested in talking it out. He knows that would be good for me, best for my soul. And if I could just see that, I might not have turned to hide so readily.

I see it in Adam; in those early hints about prayer. I see it in me; in my own experience this morning. But by his grace and because of his relentless pursuit in love, I think I am going to get over it. Next time he asks, “So, do you want to talk?” I am planning on saying, “Yes!”