I see it in my own life. I hear it from others. I watch fellow disciples wrestle. We want to grow. We want to grow in our experience of life with Jesus. We want to come to understand more about the God who loves us and to grasp, in a tangible and palpable way, how to keep in step with the Spirit.

And it is when I am at the growing edge of life, when we face those moments and opportunities that take us beyond what is already familiar and manageable, that we balk, that I hesitate.

Hearing, or reading, or knowing, or sensing what it just might be that Jesus wants for me, I resist. And I tell myself (and others who might be listening!), “I just can’t do it. It’s not in me.”

Like the woman I spoke with who told me she didn’t know it was “in her” to really love her husband. Or the friend who talked about not knowing whether it was “in him” to step into a fresh opportunity for serving. Or the young man who was struggling with whether he was up to finding some kind of regular pattern of time with Jesus because he wasn’t sure it was “in him” to do so.

When faced with challenges in growing–even when we truly want to grow–we often take an internal spiritual thermometer reading and conclude, “Nope! Not in me. Don’t see it. Not there. I guess there won’t be any growth this time.”

But as common as that response might be, it really overlooks a staggering insight–a truth that could actually open the door for transformative living.

Paul begins to unpack this idea in his letter to the Philippians, as he explains how it is that they are to live like Jesus. In Philippians 2, Paul lays before them the picture of how Jesus lived. And he tells them that they (and we!) are to live in the same way.

Of course you can hear them say back to Paul: “”Nope! Not in me. Don’t see it. Not there.” They might look at themselves and what they “bring to the table” and conclude they just aren’t up for this “living like Jesus.” And then Paul writes:

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for [His] good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13)

He isn’t calling them to get “more saved.” The idea of “working out your salvation” is more about getting into it, living it out, inclining yourself to what is–it’s not about earning or meriting or achieving salvation. But then comes the insight.

God is at work in you. He intends to provide both the willing and the working; both the internal “umph” and the necessary “ugh” for you to grow. All that is missing for growth, in some sense, is an inclination to give in to that.

“Nope! Not in me. Don’t see it. Not there.” Well of course not–not in and of yourself! But God is there, by his Spirit and because of Jesus. And if we just give in to his invitation to growth, we might really be surprised by the power of his willingness in us and the effectiveness of his enablement.

Growth comes, not by trying harder to do what you don’t think you can do, but by admitting that apart from his grace growth won’t come. And then, giving in to that grace; taking God at his word that he will provide both the willing and the working for growth. Growth comes by giving in.